Earlier in March I wrote this blog post and I had it in draft ever since. Now I decided to let you inside my life in a personal Blog Post, it will get super personal. I heard someone sharing at church on Sunday say, “The reason we have the bible is because people shared their stories”. It may feel easier to share when you’ve overcome than it is to share when you are going through them.
If it’s not your first time reading the blog you’d know I’ve been married now for 7 months. Prior to getting married, one of the things we had to discuss was how soon we wanted to have children. No surprise, we both said 3 years, easy. This decision meant that we’d have to consider our options for contraception which proved to be more difficult than we thought. We read up on various methods, maybe 7 different options including ABSTINENCE (lol, pass). Just to be clear, we did not research the abstinence option, we received papers from a friend with the different options. All the side effects seemed gruesome and honestly, I was turned off by ALL. However, I had to choose the best of them all and to me that was the injection. The disadvantage that stood out to me was that I wouldn’t have a period, that to me was no disadvantage!
At the doctor’s visit we went over all the options and side effects and (abstinence came up again idky), we chose the 3-month injection, DEPO PROVERA. I was swayed to this method mostly because it promised I wouldn’t have a period and also because it was a take it and forget it type of thing. The other ones we thought of were the pills, the IUD and condoms. The pills didn’t sparkle to me because I really don’t like pills, I’ll bear the pain and discomfort. The IUD was a big no, the thought of a foreign object living in my body still scares me now. Condoms were quickly rules out by Jonathan. The injection had scary side effects, but it paled when I thought of not having my period. The doctor said I would experience spotting when it comes to the time for my period. I didn’t think that would be bad plus she said that would stop once my body got used to the injection. She also told me that the injection will cause weight gain, 5 pounds per year. I’ve wanted to gain weight ever since I can remember.
In September I experienced spotting for 2 weeks, it was similar to a period just not as heavy and with little to no pain. I kept telling myself that it would get better, it felt like I gave up 4 days of period for 2 weeks of spotting. October came along and it was the same thing, I was getting annoyed with it and so was Jonathan of course. I was due my next injection in November and my period was due shortly after. I told the doctor about the two weeks and she said it should be better with this second dosage, that didn’t sound too bad to me. November, I was looking out for my period and it never came, I was elated. December had the same result as November and so I believed that my body had gotten used to the injection.
December went on and some of my clothes started to get tight and though I didn’t hate it, I didn’t love it. I checked my weight at my friend’s house and saw 147, boy was I shocked. The last time I saw my weight was June 3, 2017 and it was 135 pounds. My first reaction was to blame the injection for my gain of 12 pounds in such a “SHORT” time. January was the worst of all the months and I’m not exaggerating. I experienced 5 weeks of spotting. In the second week, I started experiencing actual period cramps and my spotting got heavier. I tried calling the doctor’s office but every attempt proved unsuccessful, Jonathan and I visited the office on three occasions and it was closed.
Jonathan and I prayed a lot about it and committed the matter to GOD. Google was no help at all! Have you ever googled your symptons? If you haven’t, DON’T! If you have then you’d understand when I say it led me to think morbid thoughts. We spoke about it (a lot) and I expressed my fears, concerns and frustrations to him and he comforted me. We eventually got through to the doctor and she told me to come in, she gave me some pills which stopped the flow within a day.
I decided to stay on the pills the doctor gave me (YAZ) because I didn’t want to go through that experience again. I’ve been taking the pills for 2 months now and I’ve forgotten to take it at least 5 times. I have a reminder set up in my phone but somehow it doesn’t seem to be aggressive enough. I started to LOW-KEY worry about getting pregnant. Yes I’m married but we’ve set a 3 year timeline and it’s not even a year yet. My friend came to visit one day and told me she had a dream that I was pregnant. It was interesting because of the thought I was having but I objected and renounced my thoughts and her dream. I’m not sure why this happened but somehow I think I’ll have a complete and beautiful story to tell in the future. I’m back to the drawing board and I’m trying to find the option that’s PERFECT for me.
Lessons I’m Learning/Re-learning:
- Listen to your body
- DO NOT google your symptoms
- Each body reacts differently
- Trust your instincts
- If you’re uncomfortable with a doctor, find a different one
- Weight gain is nice until your clothes no longer fit
- Be proactive with your health
I know this SUMMARIZED post was long, but I wanted to honestly share what has been going on with me.