We’re (mostly me) counting down the days to our first wedding anniversary. I must say I’m a bit excited! I like celebrating things in life, birthdays and other milestones so naturally I’m excited for this event. As we countdown, I figured I could and answer a question I get a lot “so what changed since marriage”?
MY LAST NAME CHANGED
This is probably the most obvious change for me. The question “To change or not to change” wasn’t one I battled with. Even though our names are with us from birth, with us each day of our lives and are a part of our identifies I didn’t second guess changing mine. I was asked why I didn’t go with a double barrel name but I kinda felt it wasn’t so necessary and Williams-Simpson doesn’t fit easily in the Surname section of most forms.
What I had/have to do
I knew changing my name meant I had a long process of changing all of my Identification cards and bank accounts. So far, I’ve changed my Tax Registration Number (TRN) and my driver’s license (DL) which are my main forms of identification. The process was quick and easy. I now need to change my name on my bank accounts and passport, which I figure will not be as quick as the TRN and DL change. I’m in no rush to do the bank accounts since I do everything online and I decided to make the change on my passport when it expires in 2019.
I’VE BECOME MORE RESPONSIBLE FINANCIALLY
Not that I was a spend thrift post-marriage I just didn’t have the same responsibilities. I didn’t have a husband, bills and rent. Before getting married it was my money and I could do whatever I wanted with it. Now, I have to consider Jonathan and the bills that we have to pay. Additionally, there’s no your money or my money in our relationship even though we have separate accounts, we add everything on a monthly basis and do some form of budgeting. We still haven’t quite gotten the hang of budgeting, but I believe we’ll get it one day.
WE’VE BECOME MORE OPEN/COMFORTABLE
A few things changed naturally since we’re living together plus he’s my next of Kin and main priority which makes everything different. We started going to the toilet with the bathroom door open which was a very new experience (he doesn’t leave the seat up by the way). Going in to marriage I thought I’d have a HUGE issue with morning breath and I said I wouldn’t kiss him, but it became the new norm. We see each other at our worst more regularly, but also at our best too.
OTHER RELATIONSHIPS CHANGED
Another big change post-marriage is that my relationship with my parents and my friends have changed. With my parents I felt the transition from child to adult just based on how they talk to me, which I think comes with my transition into adulthood as well. I’ve also found that everyone has given me space to “settle” into marriage. Jonathan is now the first to know about anything in my life and everyone after. After we discuss it, I’ll inform others if need be. He’s now my Best friend and so he knows things first!
WE PRAY TOGETHER MORE
Before getting married, there was a time when Jonathan was my prayer partner. Things got a little difficult after that and we didn’t pray together as much. I was growing a bit concerned but I also felt it would improve. Now, we pray more often, for our marriage, our families, our friends, our future, etc. We do it in different ways, sometimes one person prays sometimes one after the other sometimes at the same time. Even our time in the Bible together has increased.
Looking forward to more changes and growth as we go forward.