If you read my last post (Sisterhood Series: Self-Love) you would have seen me mention love languages. I took for granted that everyone knew what they were or meant. I was introduced to the 5 Love Languages in 2013 while I was at church camp. I thought they were pretty cool I understood the concept right away. It wasn’t until 2016 that I read the book, 5 Love Languages – The Secret to love that lasts, by Dr. Gary Chapman, a renowned marriage therapist. I think the concept of love languages is quite easy to understand, you don’t have to read the book to get it but I suggest you have a read.
Dr. Chapman, the ‘founder’ of the 5 Love languages, teaches that each person has a primary and a secondary love language. The idea of a language is that you speak it and understand it. Hence, your love language is the way you speak and understand love or how you give and prefer to receive it. Most times our partners have a different preference for giving and receiving love, which creates some difficulty in relationships. Dr. Chapman believes that when we understand our partners’ love language, we can destroy the language barriers.
Initially he only shared the concept for married couples, he later extended it to singles, teens and children. The reality is that everybody has a love language and it’s important to know it so that we can live harmoniously. I shared them in my previous post about self-love.
Here are the love languages:
Words of affirmation – Spoken affection, praise, or appreciation.
This is the use of words that build up to express love. Persons with this as their primary love language prefer hearing compliments or words of appreciation. Words are super important to the speaker of this language. Things like I love you, you’re beautiful/handsome, you look good in that dress/suit, good job, dinner was amazing and simple ways to offer affirmation.
Quality time – Expressing affection/love with undivided, undistracted attention.
This is my primary love language and it’s about giving your undivided attention. Netflix and chill is nice and all but that isn’t me getting the attention it’s Netflix. Jonathan and I set aside time from now and then to sit and just talk and that gets my love light shining bright. This is what it’s like for people with this as their primary love language, distractions and failure to listen can hurt.
Receiving gifts – Gifting is symbolic of love and affection
Some people feel loved when they receive a tangible gift. This doesn’t necessarily mean the person is materialistic, but a meaningful or thoughtful present makes them feel appreciated.
Acts of service – Actions used to show and receive love
For these people, actions speak louder than words. This is doing things you know the other person would want you to do. Helping out shows you care. They would rather you help out with a chore than anything else.
Physical touch – Expressing affection through physical touch (Self-explanatory).
People with this love language love believes nothing speaks deeper than appropriate touch. This includes everyday physical connections, like hand-holding, kissing or other physical contact.
Take the Quiz
It’s important for you to know your love language so you can better understand yourself.
For couples click here
For singles click here
For teens click here
Thanks for reading. What’s your love language?